If I start with the assumption that I'm not perfect,
the logical conclusion is that I will make a mistake
now and then. Unless I am living the life of a hermit
with no friends, there exists the strong possibility
that one of my friends will notice my mistake. And
that is when life gets interesting...

Thus, my friend (who has noticed my mistake) has three
choices...

1. Ignore it
2. Tell me about it
3. Tell others about it

Number one is a viable option - "let sleeping dogs
lie" can be very good advice. And it's often the best first choice
(think 1st, talk 2nd) ... but by keeping quiet you rob me of the chance
to learn, grow, and improve.

Number three seems to be an attractive option, because
frankly, gossip is fun. But, like most sins, it's fun in the
short run, while causing long term pain... pain that spreads like a
cancer throughout our entire peer group.

Number two, unfortunately, rarely seems to happen. Why
is that? Could it be that my (moi, mi, mein), attitude toward
criticism is a wee bit defensive?

THE BIG MESSAGE

When faced with criticism from a friend ... especially
criticism that you do not agree with, consider unjust, or just flat
our wrong...

Don't become defensive and reply, "No I don't, you're
wrong!"

Instead say, "wow, I don't want to be seen as the kind
of person who acts the way you're describing. Thanks for bringing it
to my attention. Can you give me some more specifics on what
I did and how I might do it differently next time?"

For those who like checklists and flow charts:

1. Acknowledge their concern (thanks for telling me)
2. Let them know you don't want to be that type of
person
3. Ask for clarification if needed
repeat steps 1-3 until you understand
4. Ask for their suggestion on what to do differently
next time
- Use scripture as the yardstick for proper behavior
- Ask them to help in the solution
- Pray for guideance and support (repeat as needed)
5. Go to Starbucks and celebrate - you've just moved
your friendship to a much deeper level.

Moving the focus toward specifics and away from
generalities will reduce tension. Moving the focus from the past action
toward future behaviors will help make you a better person and the
world a better place.

Something to think about next time you (or someone
else) is:
Arrogant, Rude, Drunk, Promiscous, Lying,
Misinterpreting scripture, talking on the phone while driving, cheating,
stealing, causing trouble, raising a ruckus, or kicking the dog.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a
harsh word stirs up anger.

Ephesians 4:1-3 Unity in the Body of Christ
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live
a life worthy of the calling you have received.
Becompletely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
=============
Pray for me this week while I'm in China.
Have fun at Echo-Connection, a safe, low key place to
bring all your unchurched friends.
See ya Sunday the 24th.

In Him - Jim